An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman
"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman" is the opening line of a category of joke popular in Ireland and the United Kingdom. The nationalities involved may vary, though they are most usually restricted to those within the UK and Ireland, and the number of people involved is usually three or sometimes four. In Ireland, the characters are sometimes called "Paddy Irishman (or a Corkman), Paddy Englishman, and Paddy Scotsman". The punchline is usually based around the Irishman's stupidity, the Scotsman's meanness (or frugality) or the Englishman's snobbishness. Sometimes, when the joke requires four people, a Welshman is brought into the joke.
The "3 nationalities" joke format is also very common in other countries. In these cases, the two foreigners are always portrayed as cocky, stupid and naïve, while the same nationality person is smart, practical and, ultimately, victorious.
- Such jokes in Canada usually substitute the supposedly stupid Irishman with Newfie (pejorative term for someone who is from Newfoundland).
- In The Netherlands the joke is usually presented as "A Dutchman, a German and a Belgian...",
- in Turkey as "An Englishman, a Frenchman, and Temel (a fictional character from Black Sea Region of Turkey)...",
- in France as "A Frenchman, a Belgian and a Quebecois",
- in Egypt as "A Frenchman, a Belgian and a Sa'idi",
- in Spain as "An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Spaniard",
- in Greece as "a German, an Italian and a Greek...",
- in Brazil (usually) as "a Brazilian, a Portuguese and an American..."
- in Poland as "A Pole, a German and a Russian...",
- in Czech Republic as "A Czech, an American and a Russian...",
- in Russia as "A Russian, an American and a German (or a Frenchman, or an Englishman, or a Polish)..."
- in Italy as "An Italian, a German and a Frenchman (or an Englishman)...", alternatively as "A Neapolitan, a Frenchman and an Englishman..."
- in Scandinavia as "A Swede, a Dane and a Norwegian",[1]
- in China as "An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese".
- in Estonia as "An Estonian, a German and a Russian"
- in Finland as "A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian" (where the Swede is usually made fun of).
- The Bangladeshi joke involves "an American, a Russian and a Bangladeshi", where the joke is at the misfortune of the Bangladeshi, or his socioeconomic condition; the Russian is portrayed a drunkard and the American usually rich.
- in South Africa as "Jan van der Merwe, an Englishman and a Scot" (Jan van der Merwe being the archetypal stupid protagonist of jokes)
Form
The joke begins "An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman..." (or whichever nationality is relevant to that particular variation) and then places the three characters in a scenario. How each person in the joke reacts to the scenario is then explained, the final reaction being the punch line, playing up to the stereotype of that nationality. Generally speaking in Ireland the Englishman or the Scotsman is the butt of the joke, although in the neighbouring island of Great Britain the Irishman is usually portrayed as the butt of the joke.
Examples
- A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman find a wizard on the top of a tall cliff. The wizard orders them to jump off the cliff, but he also promises that if they say anything while falling, they will get it at the bottom of the cliff. So first, the Englishman jumps off the cliff and shouts, "Pillows!" and so he lands on some pillows. Then the Scotsman jumps off the cliff, and he shouts, "Hay!" and so he lands on some hay. Finally the Irishman runs to jump off the cliff, but he trips on a rock just before the jump and says, "Aw, crap!"
- A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman were discussing the infidelity of their wives. "I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician", said the Englishman, "because I found an electrician's toolbox under her bed last night." "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber", said the Scotsman, "because last night I found a plunger under her bed". "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse", said the Irishman, "because last night I found a jockey under her bed."
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar. Suddenly, a fly dives into each of their beers. The Englishman says, "Barman, a fly just dived into my beer. Bring me another one." The Englishman got another beer. The Irishman says, "Ah, to hell with it," and empties his pint, fly and all. The Scotsman pulls the fly out of his beer, shakes it up and down, and screams, "Spit it oot, damn you! Spit it oot!" (This time playing on the stereotypical Scottish thriftiness.)
These jokes are sometimes made examples of meta- or sheerly absurd humour, in these examples playing with the bar joke:
- Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman turns around and says: "What is this, some kind of joke?"
- Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The Rabbi stops and says "I think I'm in the wrong joke".
In Brazil, this kind of jokes will often involve Argentinians, regarded as arrogant by Brazilians, or Portuguese, who are portrayed as dumb and with a comic accent. However, Brazilian jokes often portray the Brazilian himself as the butt of the joke, based in the malandro stereotype, as in the example below:[2]
A Frenchman, an American and a Brazilian were traveling in an airplane. The Frenchman put his hand out the plane window and said: "We are flying over Paris. I know it because I have just touched the Eiffel Tower!" After some time, the U.S. guy put his hand out and said: "We are flying over the United States. I know it because I have just touched the Statue of Liberty." Finally, the Brazilian put his hand out and said: "We are in Brazil! We are flying over Brazil!" The American and the Frenchman asked: "How did you know?" "It's easy, I just put my hand out and someone stole my watch!"
References
- Delia Chiaro (1992), The Language of Jokes, London, Routledge (see pp. 48–50 on the three nationalities joke).